


Let Me Go

by littlemissartsy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Soul Stone (Marvel), Vormir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 07:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19246360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissartsy/pseuds/littlemissartsy
Summary: “In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. A soul for a soul.”After the shock of seeing the Red Skull in Vormir, Steve and Bucky feel dread with the realization of what they had to do.





	Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Sebastian’s answer during JIBLand in Italy on what would happen if Bucky and Steve went to Vormir

“You know you teams. You know your missions.”

It was decided then, after getting all the information about the stones. Tony, Scott, Nat and Bruce will go to New York. Rhodey, Nebula and Clint will go to Morag. Thor and Rocket will go to Asgard. Bucky and Steve will go to Vormir.

“See you in a minute,” Natasha says, smiling at Steve. She looks at Bucky then, smirking a little. She doesn’t need to say anything for Bucky to know what she means. It was a conversation they’ve had many times, over vodka usually.

 

***

 

“Why don’t you tell him? What are you afraid of? That he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Natalia, I- it’s more than that. I just think he deserves better.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

Bucky shakes his head, “I am afraid... that these feelings, these memories, are not entirely true. That when they made me a weapon they destroyed what memories I had of us. And now, I’m just holding on to these feelings because Steve’s the only one I have left of home, of Bucky Barnes before the Winter Soldier.” His voice tapers of to a whisper, almost like he’s scared to say it out loud. Nat takes his hand at the confession.

“I just want to be sure of myself before I tell him.” Nat leans onto his shoulder then, offering comfort and support without words. They keep drinking in silence, lost in thought.

 

***

 

Bucky was in space. They’ve come so far from the Stark Expo, with the (unsuccessful) flying car. Who would have thought that two Brooklyn boys would be time traveling and going to space.

He wants to geek out about all of it but he can’t tear his eyes from Steve. He’s always been beautiful, but even more so now, with the stars and galaxies reflected in his eyes. He decides then. He’ll tell Steve after all this is over. His feelings can wait, they needed to save the world first.

 

***

 

“In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. A soul for a soul.”

After the shock of seeing the Red Skull in Vormir, Steve and Bucky feel dread with the realization of what they had to do.

“Steve, no.” That punk doesn’t need to voice it out, he knows Steve all too well to know what he’s thinking.

“ _Bucky_.”

“No! You know I can’t let you do that.” It was by a small miracle that his voice doesn’t break.

_I can’t lose you._ He thinks, but doesn’t say.

They have a conversation without words, born of a bond that has survived a century of back alley fights, wars and super soldiers, now aliens and time travel.

They seem to come to the conclusion that they have to fight each other for it. They run to the edge of the cliff at the same time. Bucky’s heart leaps when he almost misses Steve’s hand.

He grunts at Steve’s weight but his metal arm is holding on to the edge of the cliff and he’ll hold on for as long as he could.

“Bucky, let me do this. Let me go.”

With tears in his eyes, he sobs, “I can’t lose you, Steve.” Finally saying what he can only admit inside his own thoughts.

Steve smiles a sad smile, “I’m probably being selfish for doing this. ‘Cause I can’t live in a world without you in it. I tried that, when you fell from that train. I tried living when I thought you were gone, but it wasn’t living. How could I live when you took my heart and soul with you?”

_Go, get out of here!_

He feels Steve loosen his grip on Bucky’s hand.

_No, not without you!_

He lets go of his hold on the cliff.

 

***

 

They fall for probably seconds or minutes, but it feels like an eternity when in their final moments he finally gets to feel Steve’s lips on his. He hope the kiss is enough to convey a century of emotions and memories, a century of loving Steve Rogers.

He hopes he gets to say,

_I knew you even when I was made to forget who I was._

_I loved you, back when I did not yet know what love was, even when loving you could get us imprisoned and killed._

_I saved you even when i was designed to kill you and I would save you again from yourself, you self-sacrificing punk._

_I love you, ‘til the end of the line._

 

***

 

Bucky slowly wakes up to a memory of a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, with shitty heating and one lumpy mattress. With the weight of his little Stevie on top of him, back when they had the excuse of keeping themselves warm against the harsh winter.

He knew he was about to wake up and was desperately holding on to the last remnants of sleep. Holding Steve just a bit closer to himself. The action must have woken Steve up cause he huffs and pushes himself away from Bucky.

“Buck! Bucky, wake up!”

When he finally opens his eyes, he gets disoriented by the unfamiliar surroundings. They were not in Brooklyn.

The jump from the cliff comes back to him and that’s when he finally sees him.

_Steve_.

Tiny, with his shitty lungs... and shitty everything else come to think of it.

“Buck,” he says in a breathless whisper, his eyes glued to his open palm, in it glows the Soul Stone.

“I told you to let me go,” his blue eyes finally meeting Bucky’s.

Before he gets to reply, Steve moves towards him and kisses him hungrily. His lips are soft as he imagined. His taste reminds him of Brooklyn, even when this is just their second kiss. His kiss feels like coming home.

When they break apart for air, Bucky can’t bear to move too far away. He grips Steve’s delicate body and pulls him onto his lap.

“And I told you... that little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight,” Bucky says with a smile and another chaste kiss.

“I’m following him.”

**Author's Note:**

> This started as an idea at 3am, and it is now my first ever fic!


End file.
